Self-Help Tip: Depression

Depression can be debilitating but unless it is a severe case that must be treated by a physician, it can usually be managed at least to a limited degree. Getting out and socializing can work wonders when it comes to changing your mood and getting you out of the "dumps".

Tip of the day: Call a friend and meet them at your local Starbucks or wherever and spend an hour just talking. Make sure the conversation starts out on a cheerful note. This will set the pace for the rest of your visit. Not only will you leave feeling better but having social interaction has a way helping you see the other circumstances in your life from a different perspective.

You Are What You Think

"When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes
out - because that's what's inside. When you are
squeezed, what comes out is what is inside."
— Wayne Dyer: Self-development author and speaker

I love this quote from Wayne Dyer. There is another quote from the Bible that supports the same idea. It goes something like this:


"A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh." Luke 6:45

Whatever is inside of us is going to come out - eventually. So what if you know there is something in there that you don't want coming out? How do you change it? The answer is simple though not always easy.

We, as humans, have a system for doing things - a sequential process that takes place so automatically that it often goes undetected. We think a thought, then we feel a feeling and then behavior follows. To make change happen, we change our thoughts. This takes a bit of awareness, and, yes, a bit of effort. In our instant gratification conditioned society, people are often very reluctant if not downright repulsed by the idea of having to "do" something; therefore it becomes increasingly more difficult to affect change outside of a magic "pill".

We can choose our thoughts. This is the first step to personal power and living a life of success. We are taught at an early age to think in certain patterns and it is only when we have the courage to challenge our early conditioning and choose our thoughts that we become free to make our own choices about how we think, and thus, how we behave and live.

This introduction is taken from "As a Man Thinketh" by James Allen.

Mind is the Master power that molds and makes,
and Man is Mind, and evermore he takes
The tool of Thought, and, shaping what he wills
Brings forth a thousand thoughts, a thousand ills:--
He thinks in secret, and it comes to pass:
Environment is but his looking-glass

Success Redefined

There is a radical transformation taking place in the U.S. as people from all walks of life are crumbling from stress, fatigue and burnout. Why? They trade time for money and never have enough money, so they attempt to trade more time for more money and so the cycle goes. "More for Less" seems to be the corporate cry issued from a conference call somewhere in a high-rise by a prematurely balding executive in a black, rolling chair. He symbolizes success of a waning generation, while his once faithful and hopeful proteges are increasingly reluctant to climb the ladder, choosing to keep their families instead of their "office with a view". Yes, the monetary rewards are still there waiting for the exchange, time for money, but other commodies are ever diminishing -happiness, purpose and satisfaction. Laborers and middle management - even executives - are asking the question: "How can I be happy and satisfied?"

We've proved as a society over and over again that money alone is not the answer. Look at Hollywood, Nashville, and New York. Noted celebrities are repeatedly headlined for their miserable behavior. Lack of money is not their problem. Screaming fans elevate them to God-like status convincing them of their invincibility. Lack of fame is not their problem. As they sit in a hotel room all alone in Somewhere, America, they ask themselves a question: "How can I be happy and satisfied?"

A growing population of people are answering that question in simple form: "I will be happy with what I have!" What a concept! The Andy Griffith Show comes to mind. With a sense of community, a guitar and a fishing pole, this little unconventional family coursed through life with gratitude, intention and purpose. Their meals were taken together and together they partook of life-happy and satisfied.

Can life really be that way? Voluntarily simplifying your life is not a "pollyanna" concept limited to the charmed life of television characters, nor is it a glamorized form of "doing without". It is a way to live that points to having only what you need and being happy with those things. It also emphasizes taking the time to take care of what you have. It is about saving and re-using. It is a long overdue step away from consumerism.

A general positive attitude and a sense of community and connection lead to happiness as well as fulfilling other basic human needs. Without connectivity, life takes on a meaningless quality and becomes a hopeless endeavor.

Other people and our relationships to them ARE the measure of success. We will undoubtedly refer back to how well we fostered our relationship with our spouses, children and others in our neighborhoods and communities at the end of our lives when the inventory is taken. What can we do now? Work less. Be happy with what we have. Laugh, love and be extraordinarily conscious of the blessings we already possess, not of real estate titles and deeds, but in human commodities: son, daughter, friend.

Attitude vs. Ability

A person's good attitude is much more important, in many cases, than their ability or skill level in completing a job or assignment.

I recently uncovered an example of this in a coaching session with a client who was, let's say, academically challenged. Unable to read or spell exceptionally well and always relying on a calculator for even simple mathematical computations, this client was feeling a bit insecure in this area- understandable. However, this client had a outstanding attitude and work ethic, which her employer valued greatly. She was never late. She never called in sick. If she did not know how to do something she would ask for clarification because doing the task right was much more important to her than just doing the task.

Because of her extreme conscientiousness (an attribute which she may not have possessed if she had been more academically capable) her employers considered her a great asset to their organization. This being the case, my client's self-esteem was given a boost because she gained great pleasure from being valued and appreciated.

Not everybody possesses great abilities and skill sets may have their place but a good attitude is truly a highly-prized possession - one that we all have access to.